dear love of my life,

   for you i will be a life long lover

   we don't need to understand what that means

   however

   it's hard out here

   these days

   (10/09/24 - 07:12am)

   the city starts to smell like winter

   (10/09/24 - 09:25am)

   furniture never listens

   while language is a performance

   a need

   a choice

   a game

   (something got lost here)

   (10/10/24 - 01:38pm)

   i want to do laundry

   but i only talk to you when i need something

   so 

   laundry

   (10/10/24 - 03:02pm)

   how do poets write

   so many poems

   my poems get decimated in the dishes

   the laundry  

   my sister is having another

   crisis the bed has to be made

   (10/11/24 - 03:34am)

   a check

   porn

   check, check 

  (10/12/24 - 04:21am)

   contains now 30

   good

   minutes

   (10/13/24 - 10:16am)

   thesis

   (10/14/24 - 02:03am)

   there is something 

   odd about

   this 

   paper linguistic 

   it's like table striptease

   (10/14/24 - 02:58am)

   i prepare for you    

   for november   

   with a playlist, a sofa, carpet, lamp

   (10/14/24 - 03:35am)

    one porn is saved in dropbox

    first 30 min 

    https://we.tl/t-azCN4FcXVD

    (10/15/24 - 03:02am)

     i wrote

     about the grandmother

     because not even within me 

     i can distinguish what's her naturell 

     (10/16/24 - 03:42pm)

     while searching for beckett poems

     (10/16/24 - 03:58pm)

     sound in the metal box of belas artes

    visited the professor as a daughter of steyerl and jankowski

    and had some thoughts

    (10/17/24 - 12:43pm)

    what if there is just a book 

    with not more than things of others

    (11/10/24) 

    had thought about buying another peacock

    what do we think of this? 

    (11/21/24)

  asked chat gbt
(12/15/24) 

before the russian left, she talked about the internet 
just so now it is a cable 

morse code matryoshka 
(12/25/24) 
I couldn't different than collecting
because there have been just so few words
letters for connection
so to say
(01/16/25)
question I carry:
do I really love the alter ego?
and what if I would need to give a name
(01/19/25)
the ladies court is something I highly appreciate
even though the catalog isn't properly represented
it's time that the russian comes back ---
(01/21/25)
deleted my song for it
so stupid
(01/22/25)
how many alter egos has an alter ego actually? 
(01/25/25 at 06:22an)
well days are passing and the world is just getting worse
hypernormalization at its finest
(02/01/25)
so there is like pro and con with flipping out
pro: its flipping out
con: its flipping out
(02/11/25)
it's sometimes unbearable to be in the same room as the world 
while I was runned by the sensation I was supposed to die
(02/14/25)
according to what is written there from yesterday I report that it is extraordinary strange to wake up when there was this certain level of logic
BUT I did. universe didn't take me. 
(02/15/25)
writing starts to make no fun anymore so I bought a typewriter
now it is fun again
(02/26/25)
the witch an me moved together
we have now a bathtub and a castle 
a better castle than the big one before, because this one is even more big
I start to be a maximalist, but in the room with balcony I live in is not more than the bed and the lamp. 
(03/08/25)
there is a bird living with me in the studio
(03/15/25)
dolly blockbuster decided to get an analog cooperative job, a real 9-5 experience, but only at home and only with the typewriter. 
just little to some weeks to play theater for the so far good new air
(03/17/25)
have been out on a dinner but with no dinner food and only occupying my time.
I need start applying for real things, which is something good to do from 9-5.
(03/22/25)
It is to be conducted a performance within a tele performance and it will be of hardness to explain this to people with a lower loquacity
There are some players with me; I will report about this on paper. 
(03/28/25)
Funny Note: I had to put on a camera, for transparency, but I had put it behind my head, pointing to the camera of the computer itself. So the screen, if I may. 
And then there is A, further I can't explain him, beside that he is slavic and rough and bold, however, anyways, I do a little lie and I say that I have never used a computer, just for the record, to him.
But he just looks confused into his own face and I do look indeed quite cool with me looking like an agent, but one from the activists or something, while I am just there saying Dolly doesn't really know how to do these things. Later I think, it's perfect. 
(04/12/25)
The new castle fills itself with things from the street, and Sartre would find all its disgust and so on, but when I think of Hugo, he would look just so exorbitant sitting on this green chair that is now in the living room. Some things repeat like in 2020, but what do you know right: cycles are round, that to that. 
(04/23/25)
I assume it a signal of universe that we have a bird plague, rather than a cockroach one. 
(04/30/25)
Performance goes good, great great tele performance with customers; one saying: ah well, a future PhD well so great, in what again? Me saying, art, potentially. He sniffs. Can hear it. 
But Dolly is the extra friendly, but not more than six months. Investigation should be done by then. 
(05/11/25)
First cockroaches approached. 
I think it is due to mental status of being, as the asians (?) or maybe not say. 
(05/12/25)
A year can pass so fast, especially when there is every day sun. 
I started to translate a Tarot set (the one of the witch that is filled with wine) into philosophy, because the bird is knocking on my window. 
(05/14/25)
Ah; so about the castle. It is now conducted, the furniture is found, a flatmate is to be found now, the things are as they should be decorated, and all is in harmony. 
There is missing: 
- A panel curtain with pearls
- A colored window in the living room
- A recording space within the closet of the studio (but looking like a witch room)
- Plants (dead)
- Carpets (Flatmate)
(05/29/25)
ausatmen. ausatmen. 
ausatmen. okay. Mira Mann. 
Haut auf Haut.
(06/21/25)
There is the guy back and I have difficulties to endure my relationships because I am an island interest and so it happens to be all over.
(06/21/25)