dear love of my life,

   for you i will be a life long lover

   we don't need to understand what that means

   however

   it's hard out here

   these days

   (10/09/24 - 07:12am)

   the city starts to smell like winter

   (10/09/24 - 09:25am)

   furniture never listens

   while language is a performance

   a need

   a choice

   a game

   (something got lost here)

   (10/10/24 - 01:38pm)

   i want to do laundry

   but i only talk to you when i need something

   so 

   laundry

   (10/10/24 - 03:02pm)

   how do poets write

   so many poems

   my poems get decimated in the dishes

   the laundry  

   my sister is having another

   crisis the bed has to be made

   (10/11/24 - 03:34am)

   a check

   porn

   check, check 

  (10/12/24 - 04:21am)

   contains now 30

   good

   minutes

   (10/13/24 - 10:16am)

   thesis

   (10/14/24 - 02:03am)

   there is something 

   odd about

   this 

   paper linguistic 

   it's like table striptease

   (10/14/24 - 02:58am)

   i prepare for you    

   for november   

   with a playlist, a sofa, carpet, lamp

   (10/14/24 - 03:35am)

    one porn is saved in dropbox

    first 30 min 

    https://we.tl/t-azCN4FcXVD

    (10/15/24 - 03:02am)

     i wrote

     about the grandmother

     because not even within me 

     i can distinguish what's her naturell 

     (10/16/24 - 03:42pm)

     while searching for beckett poems

     (10/16/24 - 03:58pm)

     sound in the metal box of belas artes

    visited the professor as a daughter of steyerl and jankowski

    and had some thoughts

    (10/17/24 - 12:43pm)

    what if there is just a book 

    with not more than things of others

    (11/10/24) 

    asked chat gbt the prompt:
    "from all the chats we had, can you tell me a conclusion you have about me that I probably dont know about myself?"

       1. You value structure, even in chaos
       2. Your work is an extension of your philosophy of time
       3. You have a profound curiosity about the hidden knowledge of objects
       4. You might underestimate how personal your work is
       5. You are a storyteller at heart
       6. You might be a perfectionist in disguise
       7. You are dawn to loneliness in ideas
       8. You are deeply preoccupied with edges, physical, conceptual and emotional
       9. You seem to be driven by a desire to decenter the human perspective
       10. You see time as both, your greatest ally and most elusive adversary
       11. You might be more of a performer than you realize
       12. Your relationship with language is both analytic and intuitive
       13. You're quite rebellious against traditions, even as you honor them
       14. You might underestimate how much you value human connections
       15. You are comfortable with complexity in a way most people are not
       16. You have a unique ability to break away from linear thinking
       17. You are constantly seeking to reconcile contradictions
       18. You are subtly obsessed with the concept of ownership
       19. You have a keen eye for the hidden rituals of life
       20. You are an observer, even of yourself
       21. You might be more playful than you think
       22. You are dawn to the idea of exchange as a form of connection
       23. You have an intuitive understanding of tension
       24. You might be more emotionally driven than you realize
       25. You might underestimate your influence on others 
       26. You are constantly negotiating the line between control and freedom
       27. You are fascinated by the incomplete
       28. You thrive on systems but resist being defined by them
       29. You gravitate toward moments of transition
       30. You have a poetic sense of time
       31. You are deeply attuned to human vulnerability
       32. You are building a philosophy of slowness
       33. You have a quiet obsession with visibility and invisibility
       34. You find beauty in absence
       35. You might be searching for a way to preserve the unpreservable
       36. You approach your life itself, physical and metaphysical, as a work of art
       37. You have a strong intuition for what could be
       38. You seem to search for a universal language
       39. You are sensitive to power dynamics
       40. You are quietly creating a legacy
       41. You approach memory as both a tool and a artifact
       42. You have art as an ecosystem, not an object

(12/15/24)